Presto

How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear and Other Magical Tales

Jillette, Penn Bvtn 921 JILLETTE, PENN 2016

• 330 lbs, systolic 200

• Ray Cronise CrayRay

• 2 weeks of potatos and water, slowly reintroducing other foods
  • Ray Crow NICE
• xvi making dangerous-looking events safe is my job.

• 003 2014 Director's Cut movie in 2014, still no distribution (2017/02)

• 004 2012 Celebrity Apprentice, said DT's hair looks like cotton candy made out of piss

  • DT at very best the worst person who ever lived
  • PJ lost because he was rude, lost $250K for Opportunity Village, but others on show wrote personal checks
  • Vanilla/Chocolate Magic Swirtle
• 012 90% blockage of heart widowmaker, stent, bp still 220
• 016 6'7" 322lb (BMI 36.3) Lose 70lb or stomach sleeve in 6 months, off meds at 230lb
• 021 life-or-death imperative to go crazy.
• 022 down to 304 in five weeks
• 025 Weds November 26 2014 Crayray 27 flights of stairs per Oreo
• 028 We keep storing fat for a winter that never comes
• 039 Michael Goudeau - magic and Adult tricycles
• 055 But if the paleo diet is really that good for you, how come the Flintstones need multivitamins?
• 055 three of clubs is their force card

• 060 just not eat butter and stay away from Chomulungma (?? Nepali for Mt. Everest, restaurant in Australia ?? )

• 066 S A D Standard American Diet ... potato diet, any kind, with skins and water, pepper OK but no salt

• 068 ... watching Black Mirror (TV show) ... Norman Mailer's The Executioner's Song (1979 Gary Gilmore)

• 069 Bacon MovieNight

• 071 P&T script is about a hundred pages of dialog, parts of show are flowcharted. Red Ball, Silverfish tricks. Lightheaded.

• 074 Contrast showers on day six, 10 seconds warm shower, 20 seconds cold, 10 reps, then cold as long as tolerable
• 077 Tim Minchin . . . Ryan Bell . . . Garfinkle and Oates
• 080 "L.A. Troops" Richie Nathanson, Dino Cameron, Andy Lerner (writers)

• 085 Day 14 pulse hit 38, BP 132/64, doctor dropped 2 blood pressure meds, start of corn

• 087 less urgent urination 088 dry desert "Vegas throat"

• 091 corn Goudeau giggles a lot

• 095 Novel "Sock" 096 bell peppers have a shitty attitude, but PJ will eat them now
• 103 now liver uses body fat for glycogen rather than food
• 107 hard to care about the food he eats, giving up on the "I don't give a fuck" personality
• 108 used to get great food by asking for "whatever is going bad", chefs make extra effort. Now calls ahead with specifics
• 111 gifts on new years day
• 115 there's always the option of eating nothing
• 122 "organic" and "no GMO" bullshit, but that's the type of vinegar and other foods available ... Uncle John's Band

• 126 Titanic exhibit, goes performance art on EZ-shussing stranger

• 128 Fuck protein, body makes most of it, only plants make all of them

• 132 (Chick comics) you should eat ugly Christian propaganda that you find on dirty urinals, I'm here to help.
• 133 "too much protein can age you"
• 142 Meditation and Sam Harris, mindfulness and meditation. Headspace.com instead
• 144 Stopped Advil for arthritis in thumbs.
• 148 after-show longer than show, signs breasts, skips over attractive ones to keep them around longer
• 150 Two happiest days in a man's life: when he buys his boat and when he sells his boat. CPAP like that

• 156 Penn's Sunday School podcast with Matt Donnelly and Goudeau

• 157 Dr. Joel Fuhrman End of Dieting (Fuhrburger ... "by end of book" )

• 158 be a nut (Dylan), not a weasel (Hillary)
• 159 e-mail from Teller about light-headedness, missing audience members' names and "going up" on lines
• 163 Rare and Appropriate

• 164 CrayRay high calorie wholesome food 1xWeek, no weight gain, two Oreos per day, weight gain. rare binge OK, chronic bad

• 166 March 5, 2015 60th birthday, from losing to maintenance, first R&A, "it was just food ... no big deal", not sick afterwards

  • Diana Ross
• 174 Mac King (magician), "unethical vegan", picks off the bacon bits
• 176 kinda sorta worked for Donald Trump when he kinda sorta owned an Atlantic City casino (which DT bankrupted).
• 177 so easy to go back to Fuhrburger diet
• 179 heart screwed up by animal fat gut microbe excrement
• 180 NRBQ greatest band in the world
• 181 birthday party at Erika Larsen's Brookledge, Piff the Magic Dragon and Billy the Mime Chef Jet Tila suggested Taji Marie
  • noted Positively 4th Street song, Eddie Gorodetsky (writer)
• 10 pages of food descriptions, Jackfruit tacos with avocado cream. etc.
• 214 Don't exercise: New York Times Seven Minute Workout every other day, 8 minutes of slow-mo weights on mondays

• 227 Lake Tahoe 6224 ft altitude sickness in past, Director's Cut at Sundance Park City 7K ft

• 232 "Fuhrburger" partly bug-nutty (vaccine, cancer, etc) but PG and EZ eat Fuhrburger nutritarian
• 239 ... stupid hippies killed nuclear power ... electric car, don't need the tax breaks, but a few less government bucks for war
• 242 lost hair (minoxidil for BP also reduces hair loss)
• 245 whole plants - eat every part that's edible. No bread, no oil (vegetables sautéed in water or broth), no sugar, no cheese.
  • Lots of blueberries, nutritional yeast, mushrooms, tabasco, apple cider vinegar, a few nuts.
• 264 take a lot of pictures, 50% of young people sexting pictures, someday the norm

• 266 Steve Martin play "'Picasso at the Lapin Agile

• 278 Christopher Hitchens, everyone is an atheist about almost all gods, full atheists just go one god further.
  • Bob Dylan, to live outside the law, you must be honest.

• 292 CrayRay and Fuhrburger, if you are hungry for a specific food, it's not hunger, it's a craving.

  • evolution keeps you clear and energetic to find food when you need it
• 293 diet "fed window", first meal before show at 5:30pm, last meal midnight, 22 hour fast once a week
  • Dr. Michael Klaper
• 306 Bob and Ray's perfect "The Komodo Dragon"

== From here on, mostly random essays, mostly amusing --

• 311 MILF Mother I'd Like to Fuck LtF, "nighttime prayer" thinking about how to do better
• 316 Krazy Kramer "old fucking hippie" in West Palm Beach (both hate the fucking Dead)
• 321 TSA "the insolence of office"
• 334 If you've got enough money to get fat, you've got enough money to get thin
• 337 The best idea I ever had was asking the smart girls in my high school class to fuck.
  • second best hot-chocko-berries, blueberries and blackberries, cayenne pepper, Fuhrburger bitter cocoa powder
• 322 pears inconsistent